Honoring Pain

I have blogged about pain a few times already—not that it is my favorite topic; I just consider it as part of my everyday life. The morning after I do yoga, I welcome it. Every time I get rid of my unwanted hair, plucking or waxing, it is there. From a simple paper cut to a more terrifying root canal, pain is my inevitable company. But these are all physical pain—the kind I find easiest to deal with. And to heal.

The other day, when Teacher Pio was in lecturing mood, he said that there are different types of pains and wounds—physical, subtle (referring to emotional and psychological), and even spiritual. He continued, “when you give yourself to someone….” Now I won’t get into that; just let him tell you his story, he he.

I have been wounded several times over (I’ve said it here), not the physical kind, and for various reasons. Sometimes healing does not come so easy, and so is forgiveness. Add to that the usual remarks from well-meaning people:

– “You should not feel that way.” Fine, but the fact is, I am feeling this way! I am hurting. I am in pain. Please do not make me deny it.

– “Learn to forgive, as God has forgiven us.” That’s noble. But that’s not my issue. I am in pain. A Catholic priest once told me when I was blabbering about my pain and how frustrated I was for not being able to forgive those who hurt me, “So what? Who told you that you should forgive them?” I was shocked. Of course, this statement of his should not be taken out of context, as a long processing came after his rhetorical questions.

– “Pray.” As if I don’t.

– “Move on.” Could you please tell me how?

– “Let go.” The best response to this remark that I have ever heard came from my former spiritual directress. She said, “You cannot let go of that of which you do not have a firm grasp.”

The article When Pain Comes Our Way, Honoring All Experiences has a profound message on how we could honor our pain (instead of denying it). It has brought me memories of my crisis period and how I struggled to find healing, only to realize that it comes only after acknowledging, embracing, and honoring that which needs to be healed.

I am still on my way to recovery and yoga plays a part in it. Not only has the practice taught me to listen to my body and emotions; more importantly it has brought me healing through self-love as well as pointed me to where my subtle hurts lie. Thus, I always tell my friends, yogin or not, who are experiencing chronic body pain to listen to it, dialogue with it if they can…as honoring pain leads to healing.

Recommended readings:

The Wounded Healer by Henri Nouwen

Don’t Forgive Too Soon, Extending the Two Hands that Heal by Dennis Linn, Sheila Linn, and Matthew Linn

Healing Spiritual Abuse and Religious Addiction by Dennis Linn, Sheila Linn, and Matthew Linn

Healing Life’s Hurts, Healing Memories through the Five Stages of Forgiveness by Dennis Linn and Matthew Linn

The Gift of Pain

The gift of what? Have I turned masochistic? Nope, I have just adopted a new way of looking at pain.

I was suspended from yoga for a week because of the on-and-off pain on my right leg. During this time, I realized that my pain was more psychological than physiological. Exactly the same thing my acupuncturist Dr. Eddie told me months ago about my “reddish tongue”. This realization led to reflect and read again Philip Yancey’s Where Is God When It Hurts.

Yancey said that the typical American response to pain is to take an aspirin at the slightest ache and silence the pain. People dare not shut off the warning system without first listening to the warning. (34)

He cited the case of Bob Gross, an NBA player who wanted to play despite a badly injured ankle. Knowing that Gross was needed for the important game, the team doctor injected Marcaine, a strong painkiller, into three different places of his foot. Gross did start the game but after a few minutes, as he was battling for a rebound, a snap was heard that was loud enough to fill the whole arena. Although he felt no pain, a bone had broken in his ankle and ended Gross’s career. (34)

Yancey furthered that pain should be viewed as a communication network, a remarkable network of sensors that stand guard duty with the singular purpose of keeping us from injury. It cannot be switched off. It can rage out of control as in the case of a terminal cancer patient, that even though its warning has been heard, there is no more that can be done to treat the cause of the pain. But 99 percent of all the pains that people suffer are short-term pains: correctable situations that call for medication, rest, or a change in lifestyle. Pain demands the attention that is crucial to one’s recovery. It is a signal alerting one to attend to a matter that needs change. (34-35,56)

Change.

Sigh.

More Lessons from Yoga

Blog. What else is there to do if I am not doing yoga?!

My yoga teacher has suspended me from his class. My first time ever to be suspended! Actually, Teacher Pio Baquiran told me not to do yoga for at least a week. The pain on my right leg, which runs from the seat bone down to the ankle, has been on and off for almost two months now. According to teacher, it could be a pulled muscle. The lower body, he said, takes more time to heal than the upper portion because we are always on the go.

Three nuggets of wisdom from him:

1. Give yourself time to heal.
2. Listen to your body.
3. Slow down.

My lessons for the week…and probably for the next few months.