…is so much alive lately. Read: I am in a fighting mode.
Being in the social development sector, I advocate the cause of the poor, the marginalized, yes, including our laborers; ironically, I have always detested dealing with car mechanics and construction workers. I feel they always try to pull one over me and I just hate playing mind games (layman’s term for “entering a negotiation”). Arrgh! They tend to overprice their services because they expect me to haggle with them. I don’t do that. That’s so un-me. SO, I always ask either my mom or my cousin to manage the repair of mundane things for me. This week, since neither of them are around, I had to deal with the plumber myself. He charged me two-days worth of work when it could have been done (which he actually did!) in half a day. The materials he initially bought were short–literally, because he did not measure the length of pipes that needed to be installed! Grrr! Didn’t know plumbing is an art; thought it is science. What a waste of time going back to the store and waiting for half a day before work could resume. And his nerve to offer me to repair the other water line that does not leak. Grrr!
And here’s my help, who, instead of “helping” me, further adds to my stress. The day before I left for my two-week mission, she told me that the laundry washer broke down. Mechanic checked–overheating. DUH? How could a washer, used for only three hours every week, overheat? Arrrgh! So I left and decided to deal with it when I returned. Last week, Friday, I arrived with a half-a-luggage-full of dirty clothes. Friday is wash day. For whatever spirit that dawned on my help, she decided to NOT do the laundry (yes, sans the washer). As I rushed out for a lunch date, I just hoped she would have done her job when I come back. So late afternoon, I came home…and saw my help doing her nails. Laundry not done. Grrrr! Fine, there’s always tomorrow. Saturday came and she greeted my morning with “I can’t work, I sprained my arm.” ARRRRGH!
I am not a sannyasin. In times like these, I wish I were. (Oops, my niece would say, “it’s not good to wish!”). So how am I supposed to deal with these people, under these situations? “Friendliness towards the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, disregard for the wicked….” (YS 1:33) So what are they? Often I have to catch myself conveniently “classifying” people into these categories. Not good.
I am also in the mood for taking risks. Go-bahala-na-si-batman kind of thing, oh so willing to change plans in the last minute. Often, however, the results are not encouraging. And this leads me to thinking, if I had stuck with my plans, I would not have wasted so much time and energy. But the other side of me is saying, if I did not try, I would not know what could have worked. Pwede pala, sayang. So where to draw the line between wasting time and exploring possibilities?
Well, this Daily Om article came (again) at the right time.
Yet embracing the warrior spirit is not a matter of denying gentleness or compassion—all human beings embody all traits to some degree, and seemingly contradictory aspects can coexist peacefully within us. We can exhibit strength without sacrificing tenderness precisely because both are elements of the self and both have a role to play in the complexity of existence.
When you employ your warrior spirit thoughtfully, it manifests itself as clarity, focus, determination, courage, constancy, and an unflappable zest for life. The warrior views roadblocks as evolutionary opportunities and is not afraid to pursue a purpose to its climax. There is more than enough room in the existence of the warrior for softness and benevolence, and the warrior’s willingness to stand up for their beliefs can aid you greatly as you strive to incorporate these ideals into your existence. Exploring this unique side of yourself is a means of broadening your reality so you can internalize mindfulness while meeting life’s challenges with an intensity of spirit that never wavers.