Sick and Tired of Being Sick

I welcomed the new year with a…well, coughing…and cold and sore throat. So this past week, I did only light practice twice and no pranayama at all. I don’t think nadi shodhana and surya bhedan were possible if I was breathing through only one nostril to begin with. Kapalabhati would also be so distracting if there’s a seeming cat purring after each pump.

 

And because of lack of physical activity, I notice my emotions have gone awry. This I realized when I got myself into the mat tonight–my emotional roller coaster has stopped since I started yoga in 2006…until this illness. Sigh. And as I did my first chatturanga, I went “oh my, I MISS this pose!”. (Yeah, I must be really sick 😉 )

Or was it because my emotions had gone wild the previous week that was why my immune system weakened, and thus my illness? A couple of weeks back, I got in touch with a control-freak, emotional vampire. Despite my clear, straight-to-the-point, verbal expression of tiredness and wanting to go home, the negotiation for a “quick look” and a “quick bite” lasted for four more hours of manipulation. At the end of that day, I knew my battery went zilch. Sadly, an eight-hour sleep is often not enough to rebuild your energy and any self-absorbed emotional vampire would not understand this. Emotional vampires–those whose decibel of energy, as one author of kinesiology wrote, is extremely low–speak their own language. So how to deal with them? Either I speak their language and be mean…or avoid interacting with them. But I digress (and obviously I haven’t moved on yet, ha ha!).

My more than a week hiatus made me realize how interconnected the human system is–the physical, emotional, and mental dimensions of a person (I am sure the spiritual aspect is also involved but I haven’t gone that deep yet in my reflection, he he). And I think it has also given my muscles enough rest, and therefore strength, to do some poses a notch better tonight (utthita hasta padangushthasana B, for example).

I hope to be well and back on my full practice soon. One of my new year’s resolutions is to assert and exercise my freedom of choice–be it in projects, companions, leisure activity–to keep my battery from getting low. As they say, “choosy!” Oh yeah! With my limited energy, I might as well spend it on something worthwhile, meaningful, and life-giving.

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